"My Soul's Awakening" my second book of poetry...
"My Souls Awakening"
February 2007-Published
Synopsis:
The work in this book of poetry is a form of healing on my behalf. It is introduced as a tool to help myself and readers of the book to understand their own emotional struggles with life. Anyone that has been diagnosed with a mental illness, abused in any form, raped, or a party to incest or perhaps dealing with being adopted will find this book to be enlightening.
I have found that there are many people in this world that feel that they are alone in their daily struggle with life. Trying to find someone who can relate to them and to sense an understanding of how they feel inside and how to express themselves is sometimes a difficult and futile task. It is my hope that this book will offer comfort and guidance in the healing process of others. I have shared some of my experiences in this book that have brought me to the deep end of depression and back to the highs of mania. Through my poetry and other writings I hope to emerge as a whole person who is capable of love in giving and receiving. I’m also in hopes that one day I will be able to help others who need guidance. .
Introduction:
This book of poetry was compiled during the winter months of 2004-2005.
During my adolescent years the winter months held a lot of bad times for me. I have yet to heal and to move completely forward and past those years of my life. Sometimes I feel that I am a 13 year old, and have not moved on internally in my mind. I feel as if I am this lost and confused little girl who doesn’t know how to feel or how to love and accept love. I find the way for me to deal with the past and to heal is through my writing.
When I was an adolescent I found myself to be very rebellious and frequently ran away from home. I found myself in numerous dangerous situations. Some of the serious episodes involved rape and incest. I was running from things that had happened to me at home that I could not talk about. My adopted brother, had tried to molest and rape me on several occasions and an adult couple also did the same to me while my parents were away on a cruise. These people were supposed to take care of us and look out for us while my parents were away, well they did some things that were to say the least inappropriate to me a 13 year old girl. This includes sexual interlude with this married couple though I was afraid of it I also enjoyed some of it. This is where the guilt comes in to play. I never told anyone about it until I was an adult.
I kept this and many other secrets from the world I felt that no one needed know these things I thought I was a bad person or since my biological parents gave me away that I was no good. I was adopted as an infant only a few weeks old but I do know that some people who are adopted have identity struggles as I still do. This must play a key factor into my struggle with life and who I am and my own self worth.
I could never bring myself to talk about these circumstances with anyone so I kept it all inside. Thus, causing a lot of guilt and shame on my part. Confusion was a big part of my thought process at the time, I don’t know if the experiences I had caused the mental illness or the mental illness was always there and the experiences I had made the illness come to surface. I wanted to be free and to discover myself and felt that I was just not worthy of loving parents and why should they have me when my own parents didn’t want me? I had many struggles with family life I didn’t want any part of it as most teens don’t. I decided to run and thought if I ran I would escape all the bad experiences. No one needed to carry my burden but me, I was embarrassed and full of shame. Love was something I couldn’t understand and still have a hard time dealing with and understanding. My parents were wonderful people and I was lucky. I know this now and even though I regret some things I cant change the past all I can do is try to heal and go forward with my life. As I have said the healing process is part writing and part looking into myself and trying to figure out what in life I want to accomplish, I feel as if I have a long way to go, but I know I will find my way.
My moods change like the colors of a Chameleon. I have known this pattern my whole life. I call them cycles-as they range from periods of feeling normal to feeling high, as if I am on some kind of drug that makes me feel extremely happy and excited and energetic. Then after these cycles I become depressed. My entire life I have had to live with this it can be very difficult and hard on others that I care for and vise versa. I have pushed many people away from me as I do not wish to burden them with my illness nor trouble myself by not being sure of how I really feel about someone. Many times I have thought about ending my life but I tell myself I will make it to the next cycle where I will feel better and be able to overcome the depression. Yes it’s very difficult living this way, but I have come to terms with it for the most part.
Medication has always been a big factor, but I hope someday I can stop taking medication and try to live life without it and to see if my coping skills are still strong enough to survive. Everyone has their problems and their struggles in life, living with a mental illness for me is sometimes intolerable. Unless you have been in this cycle of Mental anguish - there can be no full understanding of how it fells and what it can do to you,. This is why I write I want to be able to relate to others in the world that cannot express how they feel and maybe I can help another person who suffers and help them feel that they are not alone.
An Experience of my past:
One evening my best friend and I went to hang out with some guys we liked and we ended up in a hotel on the beach the guys left the next day and my best friend. I didn’t want to go home so I decided to sleep on the beach. I was hungry and had no money and didn’t know where to go, home wasn’t the place I wanted to be. The man that ran the hotel said I could stay as long as I did him some favors-sexual favors it turned out to be. I call him the red haired lunatic, there is a poem in my first book of poetry about him. He made me have sex with him and it was utterly disgusting and sick, I felt filthy and so full of shame and guilt but I couldn’t go home, I just couldn’t.
So this went on for a few days and I just don’t know how I did this. Its like I was another person, but somehow it was what I wanted, or felt I had to do. At the age of 13, I was so confused and so lost. One evening he sent me to a room in the hotel and the door was not locked I don’t know why. A man had entered the room and I asked who he was, he just proceeded to come at me and pulled down my panties and raped me repeatedly, I told him I was on my period but he didn’t care. I felt sick and nauseous and he left. I ran out the door and low and behold I ran into my father and my adopted brother the one who tried to molest and rape me many times before. My father had been looking for me for days I am sure, my best friend must have told them where I was. I was taken home and sent to my room and talked to later by my parents. Many more of these and worse incidents occurred. My parents were finally at their breaking point when I was 14 and sent me to a psychiatrist that I refused to go to after a few sessions the only other choice they gad was to send me to a half was house to try to help me. They thought I was on drugs, and though I experimented some, I wasn’t. I was in trouble at the half way house and was asked to leave after 2 months. A few weeks later I was hospitalized in Virginia where I was also kicked out. I ended up in another mental hospital in Atlanta GA. when I was 15 and stayed for 8 months. These experiences and more about me and my life philosophy are in another book I’m working on titled “The Path” Healing 30 years later. The poetry in the next part of this book are just my expressions, thoughts and experiences and the way that I see things in day to day life.
Below are a few poems from this book...
A select variety of works from this book...
Below are Excerpts from "My Souls Awakening" © Lauri A Cromack Nally 2005
Due for publication Winter 2005
Note: The work displayed here is protected by "Copyright" ©Lauri A. Cromack-Nally 2005. None of it's contents are to be copied or displayed without the written permission of the author said herein.
"Racing Thoughts"
Spinning thoughts, my mind racing,
I cannot catch a glimpse,
The current of thought, the speed of light
Trying to capture a word here or there
Stimuli, oh the agony, the touch, the sound
The feel of thoughts, touching my mind
This unbearable feeling
My skin crawls with pain, as you speak aloud
Or reach me and touch my skin
My mind races beyond comprehension
I need to flee, be in flight
In order to catch my own glimpse of me
My mind who I am who I have become,
My mind races, no boundaries to hold me
Release me into the light of time
It is there that I may find the peace,
The solitude, I long for
The day unfolds, runs into the next
The pattern continues,
Constraints trying to hold me down
You tighten my collar
Let me be free, I cannot be bound
I fight this, I fight you
My eyes now open, I see the colors
My memory holding on to that last glimpse
I see the black stamen
Encompassed around the purple leaves
Stands still, undead, unalive
IM purple, IM dead
IM the flower
IM the butterfly,
Alive, child of nature
"Time and Space"
A wise man came into my life
He taught me many important truths
About me, my own wounds and healing
Through this mediation, I have found the key
Of my own soul, the truth of myself
Honesty awakens me daily
I face myself; I peer deeply into my own soul
Looking at me, acceptance of self,
My own wisdom comes in forms of light
White pure light, golden haze
I swim freely, in peace,
In my own sanctuary of my mind
My thoughts endure, the old the past
White light drifts,
I feel new and alive
"Listen to whispers"
The sound of the voice whispered
The sounds of deep intention
Hanging in the still air
Quiet it seems
But the waves of sound reverberate
Through my head
IM alone in my mind my thoughts
Just whispers coming back to me
Telling me
The time is coming
Whispers soft, the color of blue
"Zen thoughts"
The meditation session
Hours of sitting, the hardened floors
Seem to numb my mind
My body in peace, my mind runs deep
IM cold, hardened I seem
To escape this period
The change in me is coming
Not of body or mind
The feel, the taste
The numbness
Wavering, wanting to cling
Hang on to yesterday
What has passed?
Still the thoughts
Cool the mind
Let us be in sync...
"Shout"
I look upon the gathering falseness of this earth
The wanderings in human disguise,
As they ramble on in their own tune
They keep the distance
Their capabilities, oh so naught
Stench, the scent of their inner being; rotting flesh
I sense them always in my path
You destruct me; off with you,
Belong, who?
Naught,
I curse you, I loathe you
Your powering scent musky odor of ancient bones
Human disguise; you try to justify your identity
Your darkness has no light
You are pitch black as the night
All of you roaming, in wanderlust
No imaginings, no emotion, only numbness of the mind
I shall call you?
Call upon you I will not; heed this warning
For I am my own, my beacon shines
My purity clings on
You falsify, you disgust me; your human form sickens me
Disease and death is you...............
"Injustice"
Weep for them I ask of you
The bug’s lye crushed,
The breaking of their wings,
Their bodies mangled
Our footsteps crush life
Our tongues create chaos
Life as you see it so simple
No complexities
The ease of life for some
Crushing of so many hearts and souls
My bearer of bad news
You come knocking down my door
My bugs in their jars spill, strewn on my floor
Taken, by your foot you crush life,
You waste your own; you have no care
Blindness is your sight; your mind so simple
So out of tune.............
"Breaking Free"
I'm my own self, my own nightmare
I appear as human a mortal I must be
My mind leaks, spilling the fluid of past thought
Old times; the past catches me
Why cannot I be free; free of this fear?
This monster in me
I feel as if Im not me
Or is this just a remembered memory
Time winds up my clock it spins my thoughts
Disshelved, I must be; lost in my mind
Light and dark seem to meld into one
Black, oh so bleak,
Flight, I fight fear of breaking free.................
"Falling"
I know when I fall, I shall tumble grace is not me
My bones will bend I may break and crackle as old glass
Life lessons have taught me so well; or so it seems
I know my capabilities as a human
I have overcome many hurdles,
The distance I have traveled
Could be summed in millions of miles
Or perhaps light-years
My mind has been stretched
To far unimaginable places
Most in this life for the sake of humanity
Can never travel the depths I have gone
Pure emotion can be me,
My mind to explain to you in the simplest of terms
Imagine, a feeling of pain that can be defined as
Your body ripped apart for days
Inch by inch, you feel this fleeting heat of pain
In vain, the pain to explain I must continue.
Your skin burns as its being stretched
By the light of the sun
Your body on fire; left in the sun to heat up
Imagine this feeling
Your flesh, searing with pain, you almost pass out; this endurance
But you must keep going, stay alive, fight,
You suffer but even this is not enough
To explain is incomprehensible, to me to convey to you
The pain I have felt in my life,
The pain of depression, the pain and fear of anxiety
The hoping and praying and wishing I could feel normal.
What I perceive as normal
My mind with this allowance and endurance
Of such pain,
Has enabled me to strengthen
Within, the pain, oh the glorious pain, oh punish me, with pain
I would rather burn and endure physical pain
My mind has been so tortured, to the depths
That I cannot explain, words are not in existence
To explain this my mind has traveled light years
Yet at times I welcome it deserving I am
It’s my old friend; pain has been with me so long
Part of me, I hold it embrace it cherish it ..............
"Thanksgiving Memories for Dan"
I see you at the old wood table,
All the family gathered round,
Smiling faces, memories of the past
Children running and laughing their faces innocent of time
Nothing has taken their innocence
Reflected from the depths of their souls
So new and unmarked
Imprints on the old worn wood table
Worn patterns areas carved in nicks and scrapes
Tells tales of many games
Card games and old board style ones
Etched as time only does
Wondrous memories of all moments shared
Hold them close allow them to cling to your heart
Take not these moments in time for granted
Devour them and keep them alive always safe with you,
Keep them in your heart
As the day grows old to the night that falls
Awaken each day, memories of the past and the old worn table
Children and family all gathered round
Love them, love the memories hold them all and keep them safe...
"Her Light Shines On"
As I may bid you good-bye-
From your mortal casing
The memory of you my dear, the essence
Of your spirit, lingers on
In my mind, my eyes, and my heart
They feel you
With me, always
My senses aware brightened by your presence
Of your immortal soul
You shall rest in peace in total tranquility
In mountains high
Your nature, your creatures of this earth
Past they share
You now know the secrets of all the past
Those dreams, the skies
The angels you fly with in heavens peace
They whisper to me through you
The animals rejoice
Your spirit has joined with them, the happiness, and the joy
The peace the love
The light of you shines on now and forever
The light so bright so golden and amber....
Uli's light shine, the sun the moon the night
The sky captures the light
Of you...
"Change In Time"
Has my darkness ended?
As black turns to gray, then eggshell white
My thoughts at this time surround me still;
But the scattering of them seem;
Much less monumental
Or is it that, they ease into place,
The rush the pace, as life slows down,
As I bear witness to life
I see and feel I touch, and know
Beauty in age and the unknown
"Seeking me"
Bitter wine,
That sour taste;
Coldness is part of me
Hardness, the unwavering hardness
Of my heart
It rumbles still, Im in the search
Changes, Im ever changing...
Truly knowing of myself
The child within
Always she speaks,
Who am I?
What is the wait, the wall?
Holding me back
Bricks ever so thick
"Existence questionable?"
Rafters, silently creek
My mind taking a breath
A sigh of relief,
My bearings are not known
One silence captures the next thought
Spoken in terms
Of me
I endure
I will myself
My spirit flies,
I see atop, the hillside
Mountainous scales
Heights of no boundaries
I must be free
In flight, in life
My spirit is free in flight
In time, in life.........
"Drama"
The questioning of all life's imaginings, day to day drama
Am I the queen of such?
Thinking of past events realities of such; the amazing voice in my head
or voices, which is the true keeper of sorts
theGemini twin, but as such evil grows,
is it evil the fight of the twin, is
It such that one has a memory
The other holds captive, afraid to share with the fear
One has the heart the other the mind
The twin the reality of it keep in pace as in tune the leaning of the scale,
Odd or even one leans too far the other saves the other captures keeping
Sanity or safety keeping it all in check
If at all possible times sad times the time of atonement
The time of learning the patient time to think then to run
Wild with vengeance as the old mind has not met with the new mind as the
Tuning of the piece discipline is not set
Discipline is fought, is sacred to some not desired, not known
Not wanted, as it is to take control of me
"Savannah on the riverfront"
We walked the streets of Savannah,
Hand in hand, steel gray cobblestones underfoot
Slippery from the mist blown in by the riverboats
As we search for spirits of the old historic town,
Mystery fills the air
An excitement quieted by the old graves
The dead, buried deep under fall of our footsteps,
Shops busily adorned with all their wares,
You can smell the mix of the sea close by
The sound of the wind blowing
The mingling of all passers by
We continue our walk hand in hand,
The old cemeteries, still stand years of wear
The old houses, hidden in their cracks the stories
All those old secrets
The color of life is here the color of love
Colors of the old town
The smiles the friendly faces,
Beautiful low country town, Savannah
"Arriving in Savannah"
Old town
Azaleas in bloom
Camellias open their blossoms
Rose petals of soft bloom
Dogwood trees white as old eggs
Line the town squares
Row houses, old vintage wood and brick
Memories of yesteryear
Color all abound, the air cool
Satisfying my own need of quietude.
Old faces, old places
Beauty lies in the young
The old, the wood, the brick
The marshland-soft brown gentle grasses swaying
The wind softly whispers its calling
Old town Savannah,
My heart longs for thee............
"Savannah-Tybee Island"
The old beach town
Reminds of the old days of the coast
The moss the dying gray moss
How it rests so languidly in the nestle of the trees
Old clapboard houses, line the streets
I can smell the salt air
The calling of the sea.
Old Tybee, the wind rushing in
Jostling the fall leaves,
The color of day as it fades into night
The whispering grows quiet
I lye in my hammock, watching the stars
The sun, merely a small speck
The sound the smells of the old salt air
I hear children playing,
Winding up their days play of tag
And hide and seek,
Mothers calling,
The night grows quiet the stars shine so bright
As I lye in my hammock; on my shore on old Tybee...
"The understanding of Death"
Tell me to hush, to dry my tears
Your emotion not captured in your heart,
You run from it
Trapped by some fear
The predatory score of your past
Walls we build
Strong with mortar
Unpenetratable
Even the strongest knocks
Cannot tear them down
Wishing I could control
My own fear, emotion
Death is upon,
Is impeding
Faster it comes
The seconds and moments flee
Blown away
Like the dandelion wisps
You recall as a child
Make my dream come true
Grim hope, grind me with fear
Shed a tear
Come on knock your wall down
If only for a moment
"Wind" 
Wish the wind
could take me on a flight
traveling lands,
hovering, mountains, and seas
creations of nature, the beauty lies
for deep inside the face of beauty
an ugliness forms
greed and torment
the taking of ones self
the permission, not sought
beauty in death
death of some sort
blindness is beauty
for what we cannot see
A destruction of the soul
I reap what I sow
take my wishes,
take me on a flight
I want to glide
over mountain tops; hover the seas
taste the beauty ;feel the wind
be free...........
“Free”
I am a spirit in my own right
I am my own grim reaper, bathed in darkness
I want to fly off on angel wings
leave this earth , this round sphere of endless land
This globe of life
To see and travel untouched space
alone, I want to be
to fly and to be free
I have been a guest in this life; far too long
darkness has brought me here; this eternal fate it seems
escape seems so impossible
the angels are always seen in disguise they call my name
I missed the train
my flight this time was cancelled
so many times ,,,,I miss the train,
the flight on angel wings; take me away
I want to go home
"Misery"
This life, the pain I must continue to endure
pain, a word so small yet I suffocate
I’m strangled by my own mind my thoughts
Pain of lingering depression casting shadows upon my soul
Feeling so numb and insecure
sinking into a deep spell
I fear not as I know this pain so well
agony, helpless agony
So many old memories of suffering
My mind deep in this spell
These cycles; I can no longer bear
the never ending misery
Relentless Cycles of hated pain
"Eradication"
Eradicate me, dredge my soul
the depths of humanity, our parting of ways
The other half has arisen
make me wise, make me whole
This evil, this change of moods
Lightning is striking my mind is on fire
my brain sizzles from the change
I can no longer bear this
I appear to be who I am
a wolf in sheep’s clothing
a sheep in wolves clothing
who am I, what am I
why must I be ?
“Lunar Eclipse"
Mighty swords of orange mist, tangle in my mind
I must fly; holding on ever so tight,
to my destination, my pathway,
who knows what I shall discover
Perhaps, a destination of the sun
A ride in my mind to the moon and stars
I must escape,
escape the reality of this moment
the sun burns orange
A haze of peach essence, it gives
Energy and light
These beings I see, drive past,
They pay no attention, no mind
They are often so blind,
orange blindness
Haze of the sun- burning fire force
Beings of blithe and no mind
Can they not feel?
“Rainbows and Ramblings"
Don’t trample upon my rainbow, it is my dream, my desire my fate
I must hold on ;do not cross my path, my way my dreams, my destiny; you have your own desires your own identity and destination
to not trample upon mine ,mind your own way, your path
the sun will still rise in its brilliant haze of amber;
the orange power blinds; seeing is difficult at times
we must shield ourselves ;open our hearts when the time is right
Protect us from evil, we live in beauty and pain
the thorns of life are tools; they teach us many lessons
the sun is sometimes pain, the beauty of such things so overwhelming
life can be so ugly and not worth living
Life also teaches us;
life cannot be learned from a book, or a test,
life at times is torture and living hell
Is heaven really home?
I hear roses are beauty, yet sometimes, they symbolize pain
the leaves of a tree ; break free and fall
blow away in the wind ,slowly dying, its painful death
love, live, breath, dream , learn life’s lessons
death is only so close......
"The hated Pit"
I hear the whispering; the pit gently calling me
beckoning me to come play in the land of mind games
along for this merciless ride
I cannot be witness to this
the pit beckoning, calling my name
my ears shut, I want to run, I want to flee
please stop; you chase me down
you come for me ; why must you call for me now?
have I not given enough of my soul
have I not given so much of me
my innocent childlike self
distraught, you have taken me so often
I’m brittle as old bones
I fear my mind is wasting away
the half life left in me, helpless
I’m a rag doll ; you have taken my will, you have stolen my identity
do not call for me; I beg of you
have mercy on my soul.....
"Echoes"
The darkness of the night brilliant diamonds on blue velvet skies
the quiet of this place another world I must be in
dark ages of long ago; the black forest
black fate the darkness trying to take me
the deafening sound of quietude
No sight, no sound
awaken all of you; awake and see the luxury if this night
Yet please do not appear; darkness all for me
this darkness, this night
Open the door I cannot
The darkness will re-appear
welcome it as I do; darkness is mine,
it protects me ; no lies, as it cannot falsify me
I’m true; darkness is true to me......
"Breaking Free"
I’m my own self, my own nightmare
I appear as human a mortal I must be
My mind leaks , spilling the fluid of past thought
old times ; the past catches me
Why cannot I be free; free of this fear
This monster in me
I feel as if im not me
or is this just a remembered memory
Time winds up my clock it spins my thoughts
disshelved, I must be ; lost in my mind
light and dark seem to meld into one
black, oh so bleak,
flight, I fight fear of breaking free.................
"My Home"
The sun gently fades into afternoon skies
voices travel gently through the salt air,
the sky still a muted blue
the sun, casting its shadow upon the ocean floor
the water sparkles, gentle green, crystal blues
sea animals, far south, seeking shelter
hibernation in rapid succession
oceans far, so far away
my mind drifting
lulled by the sound of the sea
peace is here, always here
imagine, the sky fading setting sun
orange it glows, the quiet of the day, this place
a holder of such beauty, mother nature
I’m alone here, the only creature in human form
miles between another; imagine the solitude, this tranquility
the sound of the ocean, as it gently rolls the wave
softly it flows, melding into the open sea, it carries me away,
I flow, we are as one..........
"Sea II"
Drink the water, salt ness of the sea
quench your soul, as it thirsts, baptize yourself in the ocean of life
the sea will capture you it shall quench by your own thirst
mother nature hauntingly stirs the gusts
the wind will arise and meet you in the West
clouds become angry, their fury their wrath
upon you, you must see
you turn as if you are blind; you spit out angrily
the bitter saltiness, of this sea
you are blindness, you are evil
this dweller, upon my land
your life force bathed in darkness, you enrage me,
not belonging are you
trespass upon me, my sanctuary, my soul
yet I ache, for mother nature, as you do not,
how can a blind man see?
You filth of human disguise, I spit upon you
go, you must go belong, you?
Not welcome; find your fire
your evil dwellings
lost you are, blinded you wretched being
the Key, across the way, the Egmont pass
cast your darkness upon your own,
bathe in your filth, I spit upon you, the salt, the sea......................
"Destiny of Time"
Our destinations, as individuals,
sometimes, fall silent,
upon life's dreams, our future our pasts
heaven and earth, know our sorrows
mother nature holds our secrets
time, and tests, and our knowledge
our open minds, absorb
life, sorrow, love, death
peace in wishing
fall silent we must
escape this world, this lifetime
happiness lies ahead
we must believe, She casts faith upon our mortal souls
we must hold our pasts, our present
cherish the moment , the time will pass
the moment you must capture
the essence of life
to live, to breath, to love and to hope
“Dream Cycles”
Dream Cycles, state of mind
relentless passions ; endangered souls
changing the colors ; the chameleon emerges
she is seen in her true light of form
then is now; now is then
the truth of her own existence
arise the Chameleon ; the colors in her mind
darkness black and bleak
muted tones; envision change
transparency for this time
the knowing of the knowledge
the truth still may be spoken………
“Hiding”
My performance as me; has led me to these wishes
What has life given to me thus far: some peace and tranquil times
Sturdy memories tucked away
Far in my mind like little windows
Files, folders marked; all named, each performance I give
This day as I peer into the old files
Memories of so long ago
My wishes, my wants and desires
Human flesh and bondage a repetitive file
As a broken record album repeats and plays the same
Passion and desire the new territory, adventure is life
The time is now proceed to the next step
World of magical myths taboo land flesh and desire
I want it I wish for it temptation is real
“Meditation”
I am in meditation; the season has changed
This cycle, the coolness of the air touches me deep within
Surface comes with meaning understanding of myself
Sharpened as a pen; becoming clear this cycle of seasons
The air is warm inside; the coolness of the season
A coldness I feel,,, deep in me,,, in depth of transformation
Changing powerful evil and sympathy for me
The twin takes over, its her time she is called to the now
“Endangered thoughts”
As I cry for the endangered
Your words I hear as you try to touch my soul
My heart ablaze fiery red as rubies, a passion feast
The redness deepens color of the night
The whisper of your thought comes to mind
Your guilt, my angst you thrust upon me, your desire
Your dreams dank and serene
To hold me to have me ; your own thought or desire
I am the endangered
Color deepens., im the color of night
I see the coolness of your heart
I shed tears for you; I am the endangered soul
Keep me have me as you will
My heart belongs to none……….
